Monday, March 23, 2009

Halo 3 Loses in Sales to Glorified Scale

This…this right here? This is gold.

In fact, let’s put this in perspective: Halo 3, a first-person shooter with a massive ad campaign that lasted a full calendar year, lost to a peripheral that is the digital equivalent of a physical exam, even though the latter was released a full six months after the former.

This triumph is not as epic as one would hope; Halo 3 has sold an impressive 5.9 million units to date despite being one of the most aggressively mediocre games of the 21st century. It’s just that…well…at 6 million units, people seem to be having more fun with Wii Fit.

Wii Fit, y’all. Can you imagine being Halo 3 right now? Let’s try: close your eyes (after reading this, of course). Now try to picture the type of person who loves Halo 3. If your brain isn’t lying to you then you probably came up with someone like this:

jockNow try to picture a Wii Fit enthusiast. Okay, a Wii Fit purchaser. You’ll probably get the image of soccer moms, young kids, and college chicks who do yoga in quads. Now imagine these people giving a massive, campus-wide wedgie to everyone who looks like that guy up there. That’s essentially what Wii Fit did to Halo 3.

Hell yeah.