Thursday, October 29, 2009

Bald Mountain Night 29: Wild Zero

Each day in October, intrepid blogger Alex Boivin will watch a horror movie. These movies are all new to him and are part of his month-long effort to fill in his gaps in the horror canon. If he doesn't die from fright, you just might get to read about about his exploits in cinema during the Halloween season.

I maybe should have mentioned this, you know a month ago, but I am more than a little open to requests for this little feature of ours. Obviously it's too late to start sending them in now but keep that in mind when I inevitably pick this up again next October. For today's post, you have reader Kjersten to thank for suggesting this one. According to Kjersten, this movie "needs more exposure", and now that I've watched it, I can see why it hasn't exactly been exposed that much. That doesn't make it any less of a crime.

Wild Zero
is a really hard movie to classify. It's the story of Ace, a rock 'n roll fanboy who saves the life of his favorite band Guitar Wolf (who play themselves). Because of this, he gets made their blood brother and is given a magical rape whistle that can summon them at a moments' notice. It's a good thing he has that magical rape whistle because before you can say "what the hell is going on?" a bunch of zombies show up. Thank God Guitar Wolf happens to have badass rock 'n roll powers! Along the way there are UFOs, a sexy arms dealer, yakuza, an evil club owner with a propensity for booty shorts and Dutch Boy haircuts, and more than a little accidental homosexuality. ROCK AND ROLL!!!

Wild Zero is something of a mash-up of a bunch of different genres- I wouldn't call it a comedy but I also wouldn't call it a zombie movie. Yes, there are plenty of funny moments and yes, there are plenty of zombies, but it's its own thing. You might as well call it a "crowbar movie" because so much time is spent on Ace's one man rampage against the zombie horde with a crowbar, Gordon Freeman style. If anything you could put it down in the storied genre of "batshit insane Japanese stuff". The zombies are pretty much unexplained (though there is a mention of a meteorite crashing down nearby and of course there are those pesky UFOs flying around) and are about as inconsequential as everything else going on. There's a lot going on here and none of it makes a lick of sense, though I guess that's kind the point. The whole affair is joyfully absurd and if you're wondering why a J-rock band (the music in this movie is awesome, btw) is so good at slaying zombies (and why all the vehicles in this movie shoot fire out the back like the Batmobile, or why Guitar Wolf's guitar neck conceals a katana, or why the bad guy can shoot laser beams from his eyes, or why literally any of this is happening) you're probably watching the wrong movie and I truly pity you.

Final verdict: 60 Congos