Saturday, October 24, 2009

Borderlands Not Dying; Pachter Something Less Than a Charlatan

How does Industry Analyst Michael Pachter do it? How does he reach into the future and pluck out predictions about price points and sales trends?

Many have accused him of using gypsy magic, but I think it’s much simpler: Industry Analyst Michael Pachter uses the incisive tools of deduction he learned in third grade. For example: in predicting the success of Gearbox’s new shooter/RPG Borderlands, Industry Analyst Michael Patchter deduced from the game’s hybrid nature that it would be unable to compete against Modern Warfare 2, the probable shooter-to-beat, or Dragon Age: Origins, a shit-hot Bioware RPG.

Ready for some Pachter arithmetic? Solve for Success Of Borderlands, where Modern Warfare 2 equals a 2 bazillion and Dragon Age: Origins equals 1.5 bazillion. Borderlands can be any whole number less than a bazillion.

Success of Borderlands = Borderlands - (Modern Warfare (Dragon Age: Origins))

Bingo! Thus Industry Analyst Michael Pachter declares that Borderlands was “sent to die” on store shelves.

Except it hasn’t. Gearbox reports they’ve had trouble keeping the game in stores, and are struggling to meet demand.

Whether this is due to a reduced distribution run is irrelevant – Industry Analyst Michael Pachter stands defeated with his broken logic. Assuming that gamers’ affections are so easily quantified shows not only a lack of imagination, but a serious disconnect with the gaming public. An aggressively idiosyncratic title like Borderlands is more likely to gather a loyal following among gamers than any other demographic. We like midgets with shotguns. More importantly, we like them enough to buy the game, competition notwithstanding.

It’s not that Industry Analyst Michael Pachter is evil or otherwise ill-intentioned. Worse: he’s clueless. Put away the crystal ball, Pachter, and move along to the next village.