Tuesday, January 19, 2010

24 in 24 Words: Day 8, Hours 1 through 4

He is downright gliding over that cab. Jack Bauer’s back and things on 24 are just as crazy as ever.  Political intrigue, family troubles, office disputes.  It’s all par for the course on Fox’s real-time drama. 

My rampant fandom (I once received a “Jack Bauer for President” t-shirt) aside, I realize that 24 has its share of problems – predictable unpredictability being one.  Thus, I decided to spare everyone a thorough weekly wrap-up (see Boivin’s excellent Mad Men coverage) and attempt to boil each episode of Season Eight down to its essence in twenty-four words.  Get it? 

Like any good season of 24, my summaries will have some holes.  I can’t possibly cover every single (sub)plot under such tight restrictions, and some character backgrounds will need to be fleshed out with annotative links.  And if you feel like I missed a crucial moment or hilarious plot twist, by all means, sound off in the comments.

Fox, in full premiere regalia, aired four episodes in two days.  A heaping portion of Viewer’s Digest goodness comes after the jump.

Episode 1 - “4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m”

Terrorists plot to assassinate that Slumdog Millionaire douche.  Jack dreams of moving back to LA.  Things look good for Cherry Jones.  Nobody likes Chloe. 

Episode 2 - “5:oo p.m. to 6:00 p.m.”

Freddie Prinze’s accent is awful.  Secret Past Starbuck looks awkward in a dress.  Middle-Eastern Jason Schwartzman’s a bad guy (surprise!).  Jack’ll never retire.

Episode 3 - “6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.”

Jack kicks a beat cop’s ass.  Freddie’s accent continues to wander.  “Bubba” Blue isn’t very good at counterterrorism.  Freddie sacrifices himself for President Slumdog.

Episode 4 - “7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.”

Jack saves Freddie from the Russian.  President Slumdog shows his mistress the door.  Starbuck can’t compartmentalize.  Freckle Face returns and – holy shit, really?