My rampant fandom (I once received a “Jack Bauer for President” t-shirt) aside, I realize that 24 has its share of problems – predictable unpredictability being one. Thus, I decided to spare everyone a thorough weekly wrap-up (see Boivin’s excellent Mad Men coverage) and attempt to boil each episode of Season Eight down to its essence in twenty-four words. Get it?
Like any good season of 24, my summaries will have some holes. I can’t possibly cover every single (sub)plot under such tight restrictions, and some character backgrounds will need to be fleshed out with annotative links. And if you feel like I missed a crucial moment or hilarious plot twist, by all means, sound off in the comments.
Fox, in full premiere regalia, aired four episodes in two days. A heaping portion of Viewer’s Digest goodness comes after the jump.
Episode 1 - “4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m”
Terrorists plot to assassinate that Slumdog Millionaire douche. Jack dreams of moving back to LA. Things look good for Cherry Jones. Nobody likes Chloe.
Episode 2 - “5:oo p.m. to 6:00 p.m.”
Freddie Prinze’s accent is awful. Secret Past Starbuck looks awkward in a dress. Middle-Eastern Jason Schwartzman’s a bad guy (surprise!). Jack’ll never retire.
Episode 3 - “6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.”
Jack kicks a beat cop’s ass. Freddie’s accent continues to wander. “Bubba” Blue isn’t very good at counterterrorism. Freddie sacrifices himself for President Slumdog.
Episode 4 - “7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.”
Jack saves Freddie from the Russian. President Slumdog shows his mistress the door. Starbuck can’t compartmentalize. Freckle Face returns and – holy shit, really?