Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Keeping up with which Kardashian has been to the White House

To paraphrase from the Oscar-nominated film "Up in the Air" - Grown men love athletes because they make millions of dollars and date supermodels. Children love athletes because they follow their dreams.

What Oscar-nominated actor George Clooney didn't mention: Celebutantes love athletes because, if they're successful enough, they can provide a one-way ticket to the White House. Not to live there in any official capacity - just to visit.

For non-diplomats, meeting the president is a rare honor usually reserved for kids on field trips and a select few who happen to be attending the right event at the right time. One of our illustrious contributors here at Charge Shot!!! is one of those select few, and has a photo to prove it.

But another group of people that get a special introduction to the commander in chief are the members of a professional sports team that has recently won a championship. This group was not overlooked by reality TV stars and celebrities-for-no-reason Khloe and Kim Kardashian.

CHAPTER 1: How Khloe Made It

On August 27, 2009, television socialite Khloe Kardashian threw a party at LA's Halo nightclub to welcome LA Laker acquisition Ron Artest to town. At the party, she met Artest's new teammate Lamar Odom and sparks immediately flew. Kardashian and Odom became romantically involved, and after a whirlwind month-long romance, the two got engaged. They were married September 28, just in time to feature the wedding on a special two-hour season 4 premiere event of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. (The special premiered November 8, 2009 and drew 4.1 million viewers.)

Fast forward to January 25, 2010. The happily married couple made their way to the White House, along with Odom's Laker teammates. President Barack Obama hosted a meeting to congratulate last year's NBA champions, and everyone on the team got a "plus one." Khloe and the other Laker wives got a personal tour of the White House before meeting the prez along with their hubbies.

CHAPTER 2: Kim's Aspirations

Rewind to Khloe and Odom's wedding. The ceremony took place two months after older Kardashian sister Kim split up with her star athlete boyfriend Reggie Bush, running back for the New Orleans Saints. Kim couldn't accompany Bush back to the Big Easy when time came to start practices because of her commitment to filming her series, and the pair split rather than deal with the complications involved in a long-distance relationship for another year (they had been dating since 2007).

But when younger Khloe tied the knot, it reminded Kim how much she missed having Reggie in her life, so she jumped on a plane to Nawlins immediately after the reception to try and win back her man. At this point in time, the Saints were 3-0 and would not lose a game until December. We all know what the Saints went on to accomplish in the playoffs, and when Obama throws his annual congratulatory get-together for the Super Bowl champs, you can bet your shares in D-A-S-H clothing boutique that Kim will be there with bells on (barring a second breakup, of course).

CHAPTER 3: Illegitimate Attempts

The Kardashians are not the first socialite family to try and infiltrate the inner sanctum of the White House. We all remember the embarrassing events of November 24, 2009 where a prominent Virginia couple - Tareq and Michaele Salahi - somehow made it past security to attend a state dinner honoring the Prime Minister of India. They waltzed right past the secret service (they were screened for weapons, so no one was in any immediate danger because of the mixup), and although a reporter purportedly recognized them and knew they weren't on the guest list, they still made it right down the receiving line and shook hands with some of the most influential men in charge.

Apparently if you look the part and play up your charm and influences, security will pay you less attention than regular old gatecrashers. Hey, it happens to hot girls in clubs all the time, albeit on a much smaller scale.

Just who are these infamous Salahis, who thought they could so brazenly jeopardize our national security just to have some cool pics to post on their facebook pages? Tareq Salahi is a polo aficionado and scandal-magnet, most of which stem from controversial dealings involving his family's now bankrupt Oasis Winery, misuse of proceeds raised by his various "charitable" events and foundations, and widespread bill-skipping in general. His wife Michaele Salahi (nee Michelle Holt) is a model, lobbyist, and professed former Miss USA pageant winner and Washington Redskins cheerleader. However, both organizations have repeatedly denied these claims.

Michaele is also an aspiring reality TV star, having been in talks to star in the upcoming "Real Housewives of D.C." series. In fact, a camera crew from said series attempted to accompany her into the White House on that fateful November night, but were turned away at the gate.

Maybe the Salahis' party crashing was just a stunt cooked up by the "Real Housewives" team to jazz up the premiere of their show. Maybe the Salahis are just entitled dicks who spend money they don't have and go places they're not invited. Maybe both. But either way, they should learn a lesson from the Kardashians: you're only famous enough to get a legitimate invitation to meet the President after you've starred in a trashy reality TV show, not before.

Another lesson the Salahis can learn from the whole situation: it's not necessarily fame or power or money or influence that makes it okay for obscenely wealthy socialites to show up at the White House - it's just who you're sleeping with.