Friday, June 11, 2010

E3 2010: Prediction Haikupalooza

It’s always hard to predict E3.  If you asked me this time last year if I thought Microsoft would unveil a Minority Report peripheral (though we should really start aiming for hands-free tech like Tony Stark’s in Iron Man 2), I would’ve laughed.  If you then asked me if I thought Sony would follow that with a hastily assembled tech demo of some gussied up remote controls, I would’ve doubled over and peed myself. 

Don’t even get me started on the Wii Vitality Sensor.

So while it’s impossible to predict what madness will rise above the show floor and truly stun us, it’s plenty of fun to try.

And just to make sure you don’t take us too seriously, we’ve composed our prophecies in haiku.


Freeman, crowbar, sphinx: 
My hope tastes like surrender.
Bring on the zombies.

Portal 2 surprise
Finally a crossover?
Now let us eat cake.

Call of Duty: Black Ops

As Mos Def says: more
of less than ever before. 
Look, you're 'modern.' Yawn.


Perhaps PS4.
Perhaps an auto-da-fe.
All the same, really.

The Kevin Butler
Better host Sony’s presser.
Dude simply can’t fail.


Mad Men, Bodysnatch,
Bioshock. All good, but not
the game I love. Boo.


Will the 3DS
Actually show its face?
Need 3D Layton.

We all want Zelda.
Do we really? It might be
Kind of stupid, guys.


No more J. Allard.
Where have all the hoodies gone?
Left with this guy now.

Halo Halo Reach,
Halo Halo Halo Reach:
Halo Halo Reach!