Monday, June 7, 2010

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work." The MTV Movie Awards

As a student of political science, I am keenly aware that the ancient and eternal debate of mankind's existence is the struggle of the many versus the few. It could be argued that since the days of Sumer and Egypt up to today's march of democracy and liberal government there has been a gradual relative diffusion of power from the hands of high priests and god-kings to the voting public. That's all well and good I suppose; most people would agree that political power in the hands of the people is, at least on paper, a good idea (though as a direct descendant of the sun god Marduk, I have the most to lose in this scenario).

That being said, there are some instances where it has been proved that people simply don't know what the hell they're talking about. Take a look at most experiments with radical populism, your French Revolutions, your agreeing to go by "the honor system" with your roommates in regards to keeping your apartment clean, etc. They tend to fail and expose your average human being as an idiotic clod who needs a fancy man in a fancy powdered wig how to tell him how to think.

My dim, Brechtian view of humanity has only been reinforced over this past weekend with the annual onslaught of mediocrity and summer tentpole promotion that is the MTV Movie Awards. While there are plenty of arguments (all of them wrong) that the Oscars are a snobby retrenchment of elitism, one need only to look at the MTV Movie Awards for great reasoning in the direction of keeping the voting power in the hands of the Academy.

Bob Marley famously once said "Don't blame the youth." I say "Fuck the youth. They have terrible taste."

I suppose that at the ripe old age of 23 I am fast approaching the point where I will be a decade outside of MTV's target demographic. The last time I can honestly remember feeling relevant in regards to what MTV was beaming out into our idiot boxes was when I was 17 years old, and that was probably a stretch. It sucks raging against something that used to be a steadfast column of American youth culture; I suppose writing this post officially puts me in the old fogey camp- I can never be cool again in the eyes of the all-important teenage crowd.

But seriously, folks: look at this goddamn thing! New Moon was responsible for approximately 38% of the wins! Maybe I shouldn't impose an image of the Twilight Saga: Mormon Mormon Abstinence Propaganda-obsessed fandom onto all of our nation's young people, but if that's not how it is then the sensible kids out there who don't have Robert Pattinson's name scratched into their arm with a fountain pen aren't doing their civic duty and voting for the MTV Movie Awards.

For that matter, isn't this the reason we have the Electoral College? Wasn't it made up so big voting blocs like the Klan or whoever couldn't win every national election? Can't we do that with Twilight fans? They're about as bad as the Klan.

On the other hand, no: there is no other hand. These were the nominees for Best Movie:

The Twilight Saga: Mormon Mormon Abstinence Propaganda
Hot Topic Presents Alice in Wonderland
Harry Potter and There's Still Two More Movies?
The Hangbrover

Eeeiiigh! Kill me!

So if you could sit through something like the 2010 MTV Movie Awards and not make a pretty solid argument that allowing a more "democratic" perspective in our sacred art of film awards shows is a good thing, I doff my cap to you. As for me, I remain a radical film oligarch.

Two Minutes' Hate over. As you were, citizens. England Prevails.