Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Jordasch Explains This Week's Entourage: Bottoms Up


In the grand tradition of Charge-Shot!!! writers reviewing shows they end up hating - or just hating themselves for kinda liking - Jordasch has decided to tackle HBO's Entourage, simultaneously the most satisfying and infuriating show on the network. Because reviewing the show is a largely fruitless effort at this point, he's decided simply to explain it, character by character.


Eric: Not that Entourage is a paragon of sophistication or anything, but Eric's plot this week was just tasteless. After spotting Vince flirting with porn star Sasha Grey, James Caan's son makes a comment about how much fun it would be to have sex with her in a fairly, um, uncomfortable place. E's discomfort with the conversation makes the guys think he's never done it before, and, consequently, they call him a pussy. And so does Sloan when they (ugh) try it at the end of the episode. Let the record reflect that this is the only time I've ever wanted Entourage to go back to talking about pussy.

Drama: Bob Saget's gunning for Drama's part on the sitcom that gay Jeff Garlin supposedly wrote for him. But Saget informs the lesser Mr. Chase that the writer told the same thing to every washed-up actor in town. Guess Drama's got some DRAMA on his hands.

Huh. I should write for Entourage.

Ari: Hollywood agent Taylor Townsend is still trying to muscle Ari out of his biggest clients, if the power trio of skinny Mike Tyson, totally not fat Jessica Simpson (thanks for clarifying that, Entourage writing staff), and normal-looking Aaron Sorkin counts as such. He manages to lure them back to the firm with promises of special treatment -- which works because the script needs it to -- only to have rival superagent Amanda Daniels tell Ari that Lizzie's been taking notes on all the sundry goings-on at TMA. Ari freaks out because apparently in the Entou-verse, nobody knows he's a dick.

...

Still the most interesting part of the show.

Turtle: Tries to get his most successful friend to become the new face of Tequila-Brand-that-Shall-Not-Be-Named, but Sasha Grey keeps distracting...

Vince: ...Who is apparently having back pain from that stunt that Neck Tattoo Cassavetes made him do. He also blows an interview with Stan Lee and eventually decides to actually endorse Turtle's tequila over Eric's objections. Thank God! That'll probably pay for another five minor celebrity cameos with enough left over to buy Mark Wahlberg another motorcycle so that he doesn't feel like a pussy.

Also, that Sasha Grey is FUNNY! Like, really funny! She makes as pancake shaped like a PENIS! THAT IS SO FUNNY.

Oh wait, "Bottoms Up"! I get it! That is FUNNY!