Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Jordasch Explains This Week's Entourage: Hair

In the grand tradition of Charge-Shot!!! writers reviewing shows they end up hating - or just hating themselves for kinda liking - Jordasch has decided to tackle HBO's Entourage, simultaneously the most satisfying and infuriating show on the network. Because reviewing the show is a largely fruitless effort at this point, he's decided simply to explain it, character by character.

Turtle: You know, for a show that sees its characters fretting over whether or not they're pussies on practically every episode, Entourage is remarkably reticent to use the word when it actually denotes anything biological. In this episode's most "limp" - whoops, wrong pun - side plot, Turtle has problems performing with Alex for a reason that is both stupid and vulgar (even by Entourage standards). Or maybe I just feigned offense because I was watching with my mom. Either way, it was uncomfortable and the worst part of the episode.

Drama: Johnny spends most of the episode drunk off of two brand name liquors, neither of which I'll name and the latter of which Vince happens to be endorsing (just how, I'll get to later). Drama's show with John Stamos has effectively been snatched away from him by John Stamos, in what is a quintessentially Entourage turn of events: introduce a plot line, milk it for all the celebrity cameos you can get out of it, and dismiss it when its usefulness has evaporated.

But the return of a now-sober Billy Walsh (Rhys Coiro) may mean good, animated things for Drama's career. Here's hoping Wahlberg puts some of that tequila cash into animation so we can see an animated Johnny Chase vehicle.

Eric: Now that he's officially allied with Scotty Lavin and he's got a ginormous offer for Vince for Windwalkers or Airbreakers or some shit, it seems like nothing can stop Hollywood Agent Eric Murphy. Except, of course, for his biggest (and seemingly only) client.

Vince: Apparently Vince is supposed to be spiraling down an alcohol-induced sinkhole (aided and abetted by actual porn star Sasha Grey), but I'd think Adrian Grenier was just having a good time if the dialogue didn't remind me regularly to be worried about him. Vince's freakout at Eric at the end of season five showed that Grenier is indeed capable of slightly more than the lackadaisical affect his character evinces most of the time. But neither he nor Entourage's below-the-line are capable of communicating the idea that Vince is using his reputation as a lush to cover up some real issues.

Ari: I dismissed it last week, but the plot about former agent Lizzy attempting to publicly humiliate Ari seems to actually have legs. After a tense meeting with agency co-head Barbara Miller (Beverly D'Angelo) and the firm's attorney, Ari's informed by archrival Amanda Daniels (who has poached Lizzy) informs Ari that Lizzy had actually been recording all the racist, sexist, homophobic crap that Ari's been spewing for the last seven seasons. But, Lizzy tells Ari, she's not going to sue him over it. Instead, she's going to leak it to Nikki Finke at "Deadline Hollywood."

And what a treat it is to watch Ari melt down. It's a testament to Jeremy Piven's skill as an actor that the audience is able to tell the difference between when Ari's just being an angry douchebag and when the character is just using his anger as a cover for true fear. His performance, all wide-eyed terror and hopeless chest-thumping, is a thing of a beauty.

If only Ari were actually the main character.