Surprise! Keith Richards is still alive. Pickled or not, he’s alive enough to write an autobiography, entitled (ironically enough) Life. The Rolling Stones are still pretty popular, it seems, as Richards’ book spent the morning of its release as the top seller on Amazon before it was trounced by Ryan North’s Machine of Death.
Like any celebrity autobiography, it’s bound to include some “tell-all” aspects: insider details about life on the road, light shed on the relationships between band mates, recipes for various narcotic cocktails (just guessing). And sometimes, these books of revelation upset the other parties mentioned in their pages.
In “Please Allow Me to Correct A Few Things,” Slate asks us to imagine that Mick Jagger wrote a lengthy reply to Richards’ book and accidentally sent it to the wrong Bill Wyman. Wyman, who penned the piece, uses this Jagger mantle as a means to creatively review this definitive slice of Stones history.
Wyman’s fictional Jagger attempts to address the critiques Richards levels at Jagger throughout the book:
“So those two things I think, are important. Our bond; his talent. We blink at that point, and go 40 years forward, and he has written a book that says, essentially, that I have a small dick. That I am a bad friend. That I am unknowable.
The reviewers, who idolize Keith, don't ask why this is all in here. […] But I know why it is all here.”
Stones fans – and fans of books reviews cleverly disguised as rock star retorts – would do well to check this out.